Monday, April 18, 2005

The Pantsless Lurker Lurks Again



Today is Patriots’ Day (in Boston, anyway). To celebrate this, last night there was a fireworks display in the next town over. My apartment, being a corner unit on the middle floor of the building, is the perfect vantage point to watch fireworks. Great visibility, no trees or people’s heads to interfere, and a screen to keep bugs out (although we were visited by a spider, which I needed to assassinate before Mr. Scoop would join me in fireworks watching festivities).

Tonight’s beverage of choice, a fine Neyers Chardonnay that remained from our visit with the Manions over the weekend, was within easy reach of the fridge from where we lurked at the window. I chose to lurk at the window in my favorite fireworks watching condition: pantsless. Not because I’m an exhibitionist, but more just because I could. This is one of the small joys of living alone.

I had stumbled across the “pants optional” method of fireworks viewing three years ago. That summer was particularly brutal with heat and I lacked air conditioning. So, off went my pants. I did not arrive at this epiphany alone. There was much cheap Canadian whisky and ginger ale helping in the thought process. Some people would call that drink a “highball”. My mother would. All I knew is that it went down easy and led to me losing my pants. I tried to get Mr. Scoop to share in my joy, but alas, he’d passed out several hours earlier and had one of those “job” things to go to in the morning. So, toddled back to my window alone to enjoy whisky, fireworks and the breeze.

So, on this occasion I would like to thank the brave men and women who’ve fought for this country. Without you, I would not have the freedom to stand pantsless at my window. Have a frosty beverage and enjoy your day!

1 comment:

Lance Manion said...

I find wearing chaps made of chilled medallions of veal is both comfortable and soothing. You should try that for your next firework experience.