Thursday, May 12, 2005

Lord, I Loves Me Some Delivery Sushi - and other brief tales

I Ordered Sushi For Dinner Because I Had No Clean Dishes.

The only other living things that share my apartment are a cactus and a Japanese fighting fish. Which probably speaks volumes about my living situation.

My fish is named Fishy. Mr. Scoop named him. Fishy is awesome. He looks like this:

On nights home alone, I like to get delivery sushi and eat it in from of my fish - just watch him swim to the front of the tank, looking as perplexed as he can muster: "That's not right! I smell death!!!!!"

I also used to like to hold my mother's adopted feral cat down and pin it's paws while I tickled its tummy. He didn't like that much either. Sadly, adopted feral cat was eventually eaten by coyotes. Apparently, my methods did not prepare him for defense against the big bad things in life; it just made him crazy and anti-social. Have I mentioned how I probably shouldn't have kids?

I'd say something pithy here about the cactus, but despite my best efforts to kill it the damn thing lives - and has been for about three years. I got it as a gift at a family Christmas party. It was in the "holiday grab bag". Who in Christ thinks it's a good idea to put a cactus in a grab bag? Is it any wonder I don't visit my family often?

Highlight Of My Day:

Getting my kids to sensitively discuss the mock accident staged by students involved in Students Against Drunk Driving, how it affected them, the tragedy of losing life senselessly to substance abuse...while I was actively, hideously hungover.

Final Thoughts:

Some of you may remember my musings about karaoke in the home . Well, now my home is equipped with a microphone and an amplifier.

Be afraid, elderly neighbors. Be very afraid.


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I lost part of my finger to a fish who looked just like that.

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