Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Back In The Outside

I am done with vacation.

Today I went back to work to "organize" my room at school. The kids don't arrive until next Tuesday and my official first day back as a teacher isn't until tomorrow. However, the "teacher-only" days will be fraught with meetings and other silliness that has little to do with prepping for the kids and teaching them and everything to do with mandatory 15 minute meetings to remind us how to run homeroom and study hall.

I was so excited by these prospects that I had to run back there today.

I learned a few things today:

1. I've become entirely too used to being around air conditioning. 2 hours in my classroom and I thought I was going to sprout mold. In fact, I may now be able to cure Gonorrhea with a wave of my hand.

2. Having a lot of electronic equipment that has wires that are duct taped to the floor so no one will trip leads your custodians to not remove any furniture from the room before they wax the floor. I didn't realize that gaffer tape could be shiny.

3. They can clean the chalkboard, but they won't neccessarily clean out the chalk tray. My immaculately clean board has a tray with a suspicious powdery mass piled up at the end of it. Could be anthrax. Could be cocaine. But more probably, I could use it to demonstrate the ability of flouride to penetrate tooth enamel in a Colgate commercial. Go dentistry.

4. Filing of documents that belong to the last school year should've been done last year. Or at least I should've worn shoes with better arch support while I did last year's stuff this year.

5. Yow will get phone calls from parents who wonder if there was summer reading. It's really too late now for the kids to do it. Consider options possibly involving forehead tattoo for the following summer........June, 2006: "Do you have any summer reading?" Little Johnny pulls his bangs back to slowly reveal one word: "Gatsby". I like it.


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Gatsby is great summer reading!

Say, do you subscribe to that "whole-learning" model?

Lance Manion said...

I can't cure gonorrhea with a wave of my hand, but I can distribute syphillis with a wave of a different appendage. How's that for cool?

Blog ho said...

ha. this was funny in so many places.

Dave Morris said...

Funny, very!

Instead of curing gonorrhea with a WAVE, might it make more sense to do it with a "stroke?"

Amandarama said...

LBB - I work with high school kids. From what I can see in my classes, the kids who specifically were taught phonics seem to do better with reading (and applying decoding skills to things like foreign languages) than the kids who went through "whole language". However, reading instruction strategies aside, part of any kid's success with reading is what happens outside of school. If it's not valued in the home, the kids won't learn to cherish it in the same way. They won't do as much "outside" reading - and their skills won't strengthen at the rate of a student who does a lot of "pleasure reading".

Lance - Makes me think of Pestilence from "Good Omens". Speaking of which, did you hear Terry Gilliam is signed to direct the movie version?

ho - Thanks! We try.

Dave - Thought about "stroke". I really did. And at the last second, I pulled up.

Rob Seifert said...

Lmao at Dave's stroke. Very funny post. I've got 5 kids in the same elementary school. You can imagine the fun of getting them back to school. Thanks for the look at the other side.