Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I Bend Over For Health Care

I had the inconvenience of being diagnosed with mild near-sightedness in the 8th grade. I got glasses, but I never wore them. They looked something like this:
Janine, sorry about the 'bug-eye' thing...
Oddly enough, so did my hair. *shudder*

Anyway, since my left eye was normal, I didn't end up wearing the glasses on any kind of regular basis until sometime after I'd graduated college. I was doing a lot of night time driving because of my grad classes and my depth perception seemed off. So, I buckled and started wearing the glasses. After all, it was night time. I'd be able to see and no one could see. me. Win-win for everyone.

Except, I discovered that my eyes, once given the outlet of corrective lenses to do the heavy lifting, "gave up". My vision deteriorated precipitously after this point. Being vain, I continued to only wear my glasses when driving. Alone. Even after the right ear piece fell off in 1996:
The horror...the horror...

Today, I finally broke down and bought new glasses. It'd been over 20 years after all. The eye exam was covered by my health insurance. The glasses...were...not.

I walked out of the office, having purchased two pairs of glasses (one regular - rimless, almost invisible lenses on barely present wireframes and one pair of sunglasses - RayBan Predator Flight series in Bronze...I used to work for Sunglass Hut...old habits and tastes die hard...), just somewhat over $700 lighter in my bank account. Buh? I was tempted to ask if the glasses came with a hemorrhoid donut for my suddenly throbbing asshole. Yep. My bum was all "rent asunder" by the nice folks at LensCrafters. It wasn't the price of the frames that bugged me. I was prepared for that. It was the damn lenses. Is this normal? Did I get hosed? Will my glasses pick up stereo? Cure cancer? Inquiring victims of occular rectal invasion want to know.

On the other hand, it may be another 20 years before I get my eyes checked again. It's probably going to be cost-effective over time, with inflation. At the very least, I should be able to sit down comfortably by then.


Lance Manion said...

Man, $700?! That's a pain that will linger. I'm sure that the glasses look stylin' though.

Dave Morris said...

Amanda, they gotta make the money while they can. Before long, the laser surgical procedure will be within the financial reach of everyone... and glasses will be a thang of the past.

Give them their last hurrah.

And I recommend a short-term buy of stock in Preparation H.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

sorry to read you got butt-reamed on your glasses. But yeah, that's how those outfits operate.

You should get RK surgery. It's almost cheaper than the glasses.

Blog ho said...

always the lenses.