Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Tofu..."Lite" Tofu




I tried this product.

I did not die.

You might ask "Why? Why would an otherwise sane and generally carnivorous individual do this?" To which I must weakly answer: "40 calories per serving."

Ah, so, there we have it. The dreaded "diet". It's not just for governing Japan anymore.

"How did it taste?" you may be wondering. "Meh." I'd reply. Tofu is nothing if not neutral in flavor. I let this particular batch sit for about 4 hours in a very spicy marinade of hot pepper and curry. The tofu itself was relatively unchanged. The other vegetables marinating with it were brilliant. Thus I know it was not the marinade, but the product.

However, the "lite" product is more vitamin and nutrient packed than its "normal" counterpart:

Mmmm.  All the goodness of shoe leather with none of the guilt or dental issues.Can someone please point me in the direction of a tree to hug?  It's been about 2 hours and I'm going into withdrawl.
















So, what is a desperate dieter to do?

Well, I'm going to buy me some steak and a bottle of multivitamins and pretend this ugly incident never happened.

Yep.

7 comments:

Latigo Flint said...

I advocate the all-booze diet... for reasons I don't entirely recall.

Rob Seifert said...

I once had a friend that swore by his cube steak and green bean diet. Of course, back in the day, he was fatter than I am now and still is I'll bet. I like food too much to diet much and it shows...

RCS

Lance Manion said...

All tofu should be set on fire and shot into space. Because it's evil.

Dave Morris said...

Lance, with our luck it would sputter and fall back to earth as a renegade meteor that would make impact and cause the instant extinction of all cattle, chicken and pigs, leaving us no choice but to...

...eat tofu.

Fuck.

Lance Manion said...

Sweet mother of god that's a horrifying thought, Dave.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

God bless you. I hold diet foods in contempt. You just keep eating more and more trying to satisfy yourself.

I say start with the real deal and be done with it.

Enjoy those steaks.

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