Saturday, November 12, 2005

Bendy Wood

I have new neighbors. I know this because last night Mr. Scoop met them. He met them because they needed the door held open for them as they tried to move a Wal-mart build-it-yourself entertainment center (that apparently they bought off e-bay for $5) that was too tall to clear the staircase up the stairs. They were stuck there trying to move the thing for about a half hour before realizing that the particle board is not particularly bendy, but will shatter nicely if enough force is applied.

I don't understand why people do things on purpose that will only bring them pain. It cost $5. Take the damn thing apart and rebuild it or have a new one delivered. I will give you $5.

Curious as to Mr. Scoop's whereabouts, I wandered outside my apartment, the evening's cheap bottle of grenache/shiraz blend in hand. I found him alternating attempts to offer advice on how to best get the beast up the stairs with other offers to simply "torch the bitch and call it a day". The ensuing spectacle distracted me from the E! True Hollywood Story of Andrea Yates, which was a good thing as all the show was doing was making me angry. Not at the woman for killing her kids (which, yes, is a tragedy) but at her husband, Rusty - who had whored himself out to the show for commentary. He just sat there and talked about how Jesus (and Michael Woroniecki) didn't want people to get caught up in material things and that's why they'd been living on a bus with their four toddlers. Sure she was a little depressed, but she loved Jesus (and Michael Woroniecki).

Let me get this straight - you leave a depressed stay at home mom on a bus with four kids for weeks at a time and don't. see the potential for a psychotic episode coming?

I can't imagine Jesus would want anybody to "go Greyhound" on any kind of permanent basis. Jesus would understand that it's bad enough when the homeless guy you're sitting next to pukes half way through the trip. At least you can get off the bus and go home and shower. Choosing to live on the bus is like saying you'd like to live in hell when you're not already dead. Then again, I don't understand why people do things on purpose that will only bring them pain. But, I do think she killed the wrong people. Oh my God!  I actually said it!

3 comments:

Blog ho said...

tubs on busses are no fun!

plus, you're right. that husband ... fuckstick a la major.

Lance Manion said...

Jesus loves you but you are still going to hell. Because Jesus is a vindictive bastard like that.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

You're right. Wal-Mart is no place to shop for furniture.

A spouse, maybe.