Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Of Sake and Public Restrooms...

To begin with, I don't normally advocate taking photographs in public restrooms. It's frowned upon. Mr. Scoop bandied about terms like "perverted" and "reprehensible" and "felony". But I had to share with you this interesting advance in technology that I've found. The nice people at the Asian restaurant we ate at tonight decided to make their bathroom hermetically sealled for my pleasure.. Or at least my convenience.

You press a button and an automatic seat cover whirs into life, pulling a Saran-like plastic cover into a taut, waiting throne for my ass. Press it again and it shreds the previous cover and replaces it with a new one. My God, if this device had an integrated bidet I might never have left the bathroom.

The only problem with this system was that I was drunk. Very drunk. Lots of sake. The last time I had this much sake I was at a graduate class and tried to discuss the viability of putting a girl's brain into a chimp body. The topic of the day's class was about the educational benefits of scrapbooking. I only ended up with an A- for the class. That's a lot of sake.

When you're drunk, you have to try and read the sign that explains how to use it:

That's just not fair. I may not notice it until I'm actually done peeing. Or, I might decide that it's kind of weird and feel the need to whip out my camera and take pictures of it while I'm in the public restroom.

And, apparently, that's wrong. It upsets the other patrons that are using the bathroom who hear the sudden noise of a camera shutter in unexpected close quarters. And they tell management. According to the nice people who led me forcibly out of the restaurant.


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Amazing! Now THAT's an example of technology moving us forward.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Amazing! Now THAT's an example of technology moving us forward.

Rob Seifert said...

Marvelous bit of technology! Sorry you got ushered out. Happy New Year to you and Mr Scoop!


Spinning Girl said...

I always do it out of order. Pee, THEN push the button. Dammit, when will I get it right?!?!?

Ari said...

Oddly enough, I've done that too (taken a pic in a bathroom stall), and I, too, meant to use it as a blogpost. There was a great gaping rectangular chunk out of the wall behind the toilet. It could have been a doorway to hell. One never knows.