Friday, December 09, 2005

Snow Day

The day began with a hangover at 5 am.

I had stayed up entirely too late drinking Chardonnay that I quite enjoyed, but for which I shouldn't be forking over the dough. I should be saving money to buy presents. Oh, what the hell, Merry Christmas to me! My drinking companion was the Weather Channel's storm coverage, followed by the 10 pm news storm coverage, and then, the 11 pm storm coverage.

It wasn't snowing here yet, but a bevy of well manicured, powdered and coiffed meterologists were assuring me that the storm was coming and would coincide with the morning commute.

My morning commute. Which begins at 6:15 am.

Although I puzzled over the fact that the Weather Channel apparently didn't pay well enough for its weather chickies to get Botox, I was more concerned with the ability of my elderly car to handle the impending crap road conditions. My school rarely grants snow days and I'd taken enough "sick days for my car" the previous school year to attract attention. The fact of the matter was that I was going to have to drive in even if it meant I would risk wrapping the car around a tree. So I did what any reasonable individual would do under the circumstances. I stayed up and drank.

At 5:35 am the phone rang to let me know that school, against all odds, had been called off on account of snow. I would have answered it, but I had gone back to sleep. Instead, Mr. Scoop woke me with the joyful news about five minutes later. He'd heard the announcement on the radio.

Normally, I'd go back to sleep, but I decided to make a long lazy day of it. I did crawl back into bed and watch the coverage of the storm: "It's 5:50 here in Worcester, Bob. The snow is falling lightly. We expect it'll get heavier anytime now. Back to you at the currently snow free studios in Boston." Along the bottom of the screen crawled the names of schools that were closed for the day. I taunted the ones that didn't make the list, "Hah! Sucks to be you, Podunk!"

As I type this, I'm eating Godiva truffles and drinking hot chocolate. I am positively giddy from the rush of sugar. I will probably try to channel this into some productive use of my X-box. I see some rounds of Outlaw Golf 2 in my future. I will beat my caddy senseless because the game lets me do so. And then I will make my golfer wear assless chaps. Because I can.

The snow day! Excellent perk in the world of teaching. Of course if my school year drags into July, I'll probably look back somewhat less fondly on this day.


Ithiel said...

yay for teh snow! No snow days here yet, though last year we got nearly 40" of snow dumped on us in a month. Time will tell I guess.

Dave Morris said...

Ah, assless chaps on the golf course. You're not a man until you've done it. In fact, extra points if you do the pushup bra combo.

Lance Manion said...

I used to beat my caddy senseless, but the Fitchburg Country Club does not, in fact, allow this. As a result, I'm no longer a member. Nonetheless, he had it coming, questioning my club selection. I'll damn well use a driver on every hole if I damn well want to!