We have a new addition here at Chez Scoop. His name is Fuzzy, because that was what was on the tag. I wanted to call him "Small Amount of Cat", but apparently Lance Manion has copyright issues with unauthorized use of the name. And I don't really need any new boxes of poisonous spiders being delivered "anonymously" to my house this week.
Fuzzy likes to torment Mr. Scoop. He likes to try and drink his Guiness when he thinks Mr. Scoop doesn't notice. He finds Mr. Scoop's ever lengthening hair an excellent place to bat away at invisible foes. He also likes to attack Mr. Scoop's empty Coors Light cans and bat them around on the floor. One night, Mr. Scoop said he was awoken by Fuzzy sitting on his chest, "trying to steal my breath. Goddamn awful, rat bastard, fucking cat! I got a Lo Mein recipe with your name on it! C'mere!"
In short, Fuzzy is kinda psycho and possibly a budding alcoholic. I didn't realize that these qualities could be found in a Beanie Baby, but there you have it.
I do know that Mr. Scoop's already picked out a present for when he inevitably puts Fuzzy through a wall.
Also, in other news, Mr. Scoop has relaunched The American Jerk. Drop by and say hey. He probably won't call you a "goatfucker", but you can never be sure. The American Jerk is your "Go To" source for dark humor involving drinking, general debauchery and things you can do with your ass if you get bored. Go on. Click the link. You know you want to.