Tuesday, April 04, 2006

You Have Been Recruited...

I ate all the Frusen Gladje.  And I'd do it again.
...to eat as many Twinkies and Taco Bell burritos as you can find.

Oh, Lance Guest.

You're The Last Starfighter.

How could you let this happen?

What would Robert Preston say? I'm thinking that it would involve trouble in River City...what begins with "T" and rhymes with "P" and stands for "Pool".

Maybe it's just the Ho-Ho's.

It's just sad to see a guy I thought was cool when I was about 12 start to get all spready and vast. When I was 12, I totally wanted a video game to turn out to be a recruiting test for some other-wordly army - to let me go off into the void and fight for freedom while some android hung out and put up with my mundane existance in my place. Hell, I still. want that.

The Last Starfighter was the movie that I and my geeky chorus buddies rented when I was in 8th grade for our Christmas party. We went caroling on a road that paralleled the town landfill. Joey S. and Jen D. behaved for all the world like they might actually seal the deal. They would break up. Actually, by high school, I don't think we ever saw Joey again. Jen, allegedly, got serious with her college roommate and both girls moved to Seattle. All I know is that the movie gave me my first impulse to play with stage make-up or SFX in any kind of serious sense. I was fascinated by the pop open wrist compartment of the android in the movie. I spent a good week trying to come up with realistic looking flesh and metal using nothing more than typing paper, tin foil and chalk pastels. God, I wish I had had an allowance. I might have been able to buy something other than rubber cement to use as an adhesive. Oh the other hand, the guy I tried the fake "flesh-metal" out on was so gullible that I was able to run a fake "sure-this-is-telekinesis-what-magnets-are-you-talking-about?' con on him about a year later.

I wish I could say that I loved Jr. High, but I'd be lying.

I wish I could say that I loved Lance Guest in tonight's House, but I'd be lying.

More acting. Yes, Lance. Less Michelle Trachtenberg. No, Lance. She is a dirty, awful piggy. Mr. Scoop's friends have spoken. At this rate...at some point...you may meet them. Be afraid.


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1 comment:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'll help you with those Twinkies.

8th grade was my favorite.