Saturday, September 30, 2006


"My X-Box 360 loves your tits. That is the only explanation I have for
why you're kicking my ass right now", Mr. Scoop exclaimed as he threw
his controller to the floor. "I need a cigarette."

We are in the process of finishing the front nine holes of the Pebble Beach section of Tiger WoodsPGA Tour '06 for X-Box 360.

I kicked his ass by getting two eagles on the front nine. He eventually eagled himself, which was good, you know, for me. Mr. Scoop felt less stabby then. What Mr. Scoop doesn't really realize is that video golf is like pool for me. When I'm drunk I do really stupid things. I'll fire off some shot that looks like it should go immediately into the brink. Or into a sand trap. Or a tree. Whatever. My ball finds its way into the hole like a frat boy looking for poon. The point is: I'm drunk and it looked like a good idea at the time. Mr. Officer. Sir.

The X-Box 360 controllers aren't being very helpful tonight. The battery packs aren't holding charges for some reason. The green lights go all spin-y around the silver "on" button on the controllers. The controllers, seemingly arbitrarily, decide that they are no longer connected. All the hardware is suspect, tonight, as far as Mr. Scoop is concerned. A poor connection is the difference between him winning and me telling him he needs to do a shot for every hole he ends up behind my ass. Clearly it's a tense situation.

So he's solving our tie by accepting a game invite from a third party.

Clearly, he fears me. As he should.

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Ari said...

Long ago, I used to be one of the only lasertag-playing girls at a lasertag establishment in my town.

"It's the equipment!" was the frequent excuse used by players who were getting their asses whooped by girls (or anyone one else, for that matter).

Maybe it was the equipment. Maybe male equipement is generally detrimental to concentration.

Ari said...

Male quipment, rather. Didn't mean to go all French there.

Ari said...

Um, never mind.

Latigo Flint said...

"My X-Box loves your tits. That's the only explanation I have for why you're kicking my ass right now."

Good lord I love Mr. Scoop. He says the greatest things. His words deserve to be accompanied by trumpets and a choir of virgins.

Trebuchet said...

The Golf Drinking game... that explains why you guys were too plastered to play Outlaw Golf online that evening... ;-)

Dave Morris said...

Give a woman an x-box and she can golf for a day. Teach her to golf, and she will kick your ass every time.

Isn't that the old saying?

Franco said...
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