Reason #7,238 why your children will grow up to hate you, abandon you in a nursing home and write a tell all book about why you were a shitty parent:
The Baby Toupee!
It's not cute. It's just flat out stupid. Not to cast aspersions on anyone's parenting but, if you do that to your kid, you're an asshole. I'm not saying that DSS should come and take your kid away, but when they're 16 and shooting smack between their toes while trying to sell their virginity on E-bay because they can't get a date because YOU BRING OUT THESE GODDAMN PICTURES EVERYTIME A BOY COMES OVER - just don't say you weren't warned.
Don't dress your kid up to look like little people. Midgets will be offended. And, besides, that's what the average bubble headed fucktard uses their dog for:
You're going to tell me you can't manage to rise above being a common bubble headed fucktard? What are you? Lindsay Lohan?
You don't want your kid to date? Just buy a rifle and be conveniently "cleaning" it on the couch everytime she brings a prospective suitor over. That's what my dad did. Look how good I turned out.
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