Friday, January 05, 2007

Electrify My Property Futures

I have purchased a ten gallon capacity paper shredder.

It is, as the kids say, diesel.

It eats paper, staples, paper clips and DVDs with nary a hiccup. It actually requires lubricant to function properly. Wanna have a shredding party with me? And...can you bring the booze? The mortgage for the new condo appears to be eating into our slush fund.

I've been fielding a bunch of emails about the condo/move.

Yes. The condo is nifty. We have two whole floors on which to commit mayhem. Although, purchasing property sometimes makes you feel like "mayhem" is the ability to let the washing machine (included with purchase) enter into a violent, floor shaking spin cycle - because Mom isn't there to tell me to fix the load as it has clearly become "unbalanced". Hell, I'm unbalanced. The load is just happy to be clean. As far as I know. Dead fashion does not talk.

I'm just excited to do laundry that doesn't involve stuffing quarters into a change receptacle. I'm sure this will pass.

Oh and don't even get me started about the dishwasher. Gives me the damn vapors. The nice robot-machine washes my dishes. I'd pass out on the kitchen tile from the excitement. But tile is cold and hard and needs to be washed.

That's why we're buying a Mexican. I can't seem to find one on E-bay, though. If you have any leads, feel free to email them to me.

Oh, and if anyone knows how to electrify the sidewalk to keep the homeless from peeing on the neighboring properties, we're all ears.

4 comments:

Scottsdale Girl said...

BWAH! "buying a Mexcian"...can't stop laughing. Mostly because I have my very own and she is lovely and changes the sheets for me too.

Ari said...

Post pics!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

What's a Mexican run, anyway. I've got a ton out here I can ship on eBay.

Violet said...

Glad that the place is working out for you... Laundry always seems more exciting the first couple of loads when you have a new washer/dryer, or find a new, fancy-smelling fabric softener. But the novelty always does seem to wear off too soon.

Guess I'll go fold the clothes in the dryer. Thanks for the reminder.