Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I Got What You Want...

Can I ask you a question?

Do you like bacon? Crisp, salty. Just a little sweet. A little smokey. A trace amount of the pork fat that's been rendered from it still clinging to the meat like nature's own most perfect sauce?

How about mozzarella sticks? Crunchy on the outside. Warm and melting on the inside. Marinara sauce for dipping that is somehow savory and yet sweet with bright punches of basil, oregano and garlic. They go just as well with a cheap glass of house red as they do with a pint of PBR. Less messy than nachos or wings, they might be the best of basic bar food.


And still, is there anything better than a calzone, I ask you? It's basically a small pizza folded in half so that the fillings are on the inside encased in chewy, warm bread dough. A pizza sandwich, if you will. Who could say no to a pizza sandwich?

Which of these would you pick as a favorite food if you had to pick?

What if I told you that you didn't have to?

That it was possible to combine these items into a feast of gourmand greatness?

Across cyber space I can hear your brains. I can. I'm drunk magic. Some are opening as wide as they can to even remotely contemplate the possibility of such a creation, while other brains are snapping shut on the idea faster than Martin Yan can chop up an onion.

Oh, yes, gentle readers. It's true.

I have been to the top of the mountain. And it was full of bacon. And mozzarella sticks.

I give you the "Dick's Heart Attack" Calzone, from Pete's Pizza and Wings, folks.

I'd like to also share that this particular outfit does another cool calzone stuffed with buffalo chicken fingers and mozzarella with blue cheese dressing on the side for dipping. You know, for those occasions when you can't quite decide on pizza or wings, but you know that one of your hands is definitely going to be occupied. Trying to get in all seven deadly sins in one evening requires some serious multitasking. So you'll need to be able to get through the experience of eating one handed. That beer isn't going to drink itself. And that hooker certainly isn't going to chop herself up now, is she?

I love this century...

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Ari said...

It is dinnertime. Nothing sounded good. But now something does. :)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Nice new template. I like it.

Let me tell you: mozarella sticks can be about the best food in the world if you do'em right.

I think cheese sticks and chicken wings/tenders go together perfectly. Throw in a margarita and some fresh chips and salsa....MMMMMMMMMMMM

Steven Novak said...

Believe it or not I've never eaten a calzone.


The Fight Guy said...

Ahhh, the Dick's Heart Attack... haven't had one of them in a while.

The calzone, I mean. I have heart attacks all the time.

Dave Morris said...

God damn I can smell that thing now.

The calzone, that is.

By the way, I had to read your line about the hooker out loud to Violet, that shit is funny.

Violet said...

When's the next flight to Waltham, MA? Do you think they deliver to O'Fallon, MO?

I agree with LBB - I loves me some mozzarella sticks!

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