Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Name Of The Game

I have developed a sudden, intense dislike for Peyton Manning.

I'll be honest with you. I'm not particularly interested in football. I played Little League in middle school and lettered in field hockey and track in high school. Football wasn't on my radar - although I was the one who taught my sister to throw a football. No one else in the family could be bothered to show her.

I'm not entirely sure why I hate Mr. Manning. For example, I didn't even realize he was a white guy until today. All I knew was he was the quarterback for the Colts. The Colts beat the Pats to go the "Big Game". I live in Boston. My inclination ought to be "ok, fine. If they were good enough to beat the Pats, then let's hope they go all the way." But then I watched the Bears as they scored a touchdown within the first, like, 15 seconds of the start of the game and Manning got nearly intercepted and nearly intercepted and, finally, intercepted. "Manning has a lot of hands resting on his shoulders", one of the announcers shared with the viewing audience. "Yeah", I said. "It gets pretty tiring taking a guy repeatedly up the ass. Hard on the back."

Watching the Colts choke, the flash of realization in Manning's eyes - "Oh, God. It's not that Tom Brady has cursed me. I am, in fact, less than man.", I became resentful. Why the hell did my team have to fuck up the AFC playoff so badly? Near as I can tell, the Colts don't seem to deserve to be here, least based on what I'm seeing.

Then, Peyton sorta got his shit together. It only made me more angry. "Peyton seems to be settling down", the announcer dude said. "He's really beginning to step up and take control." Suddenly, out of my mouth unbidden I hear myself say: "And that is why we must sweep the leg".

But why the hell should I care? I'm not a big football person. Who cares? Let's just watch the commercials.

The commercials are kind of lacking this year.

Prince's half time show is pretty good though.

All I know right now is this: I'm pretty drunk. And if we are being over seen by a just and loving God, Peyton Manning will be sacked at least once before the end of this game. I bet he does a really good impression of a deer caught in headlights.

Go team.


Lance Manion said...

Hey, don't let your hatred of whitey influence your love of the game.

Steven Novak said...

I didn't watch it.

Watched an endless amount of I Love Lucy episodes instead.

I'm not heartbroken. ;)


The Fight Guy said...

Well, at least your wish for a big, cracking sack came true. Granted, it wasn't until almost then end of the game, when the Bears hadn't a prayer... but it was still nice to see a bit of mud on the nice white uniform.

BTW, when you've a sec, shoot me an e-mail at my old addy (rapier_man AT hotmail DOT com). Must confer with you ever-so-briefly. :^)

Violet said...

Sorry, chica, but I like Peyton. And I couldn't be more happy to see a Super Bowl without the Patriots...

My Rams didn't even come close this season, but lucky for me, that was overshadowed by the Cards World Series win. Between the beating the Cards got from the Red Sox a couple years ago and when the Patriots beat the Rams in '01, I can't say I'm a big New England team fan. (Although, I admit that the Red Sox are my AL team.)