Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Dear Mr. Vernon...

......we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong...

"I like to touch my glands!"

This was the exclamation one of my seniors greeted me with today.

He went on like this, as he rubbed the sides of his neck furiously: "I do! I like to play with them when I have a cold. They're bumpy! Of course, I don't have a cold right now but, they still feel really cool!"

Me: "Um."

Him: "Wouldn't it be cool if you could just stick your fingers through your neck until they came out the other side? That'd be awesome!" He was still trying to use his forefingers to destroy whatever bit of glandular tissue was protruding from the lymph nodes in his neck. Or massage it. At this point it wouldn't have surprised me if it was some weird fetish.

Me: "Um."

Kid Sitting Next To Gland Boy: "Did you take your Adderall today?"

Him: "No. Why?"


In other education related news:

Sixth Graders Learn Lots About Planing Wood During Shop Class

"...during school hours in a classroom with an experienced teacher present, two sixth graders completed the act of intercourse...at least ten students were witnesses. No disciplinary actions were taken against the teacher... All teachers were told to keep quiet."

Per Pharyngula via The Education Wonks.


How do you not notice that your students are boning when they're supposed to be making a lamp that looks like an elephant, you know, the kind that lights up when you pull on the trunk?




Violet said...

I subbed one time in an Industrial Tech classroom. The kids weren't screwing, but one of them did manage to start a small fire on the side of the classroom. (Well, I caught it while it was still smoking and not quite in flames.) Middle school kids are squirrely... Although, your seniors sound a little off-balance, too.

Tense Teacher said...

I am intrigued that these incidents made you think about The Breakfast Club.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Yikes. I'm glad I steered clear of education.

But then again, I just wound up in healthcare. Whoops.

Scottsdale Girl said...

Kids today are fearless! I would never have the guts to fornicate in a classroom.

Oops I take that back, I DID fornicate in classroom once, but it was when I was much older and dating a hot teacher. After class, in the dark.

Ari said...

I wasn't glad this happened, of course, but I was glad this happened somewhere else besides Dallas, because our local news media are poised like jungle cats ready to pounce on and serve up any bad press op they can give us.

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