Monday, September 24, 2007

Weak In The Knees

We came upstairs and smelled burning plastic...coming from my computer. Mr. Scoop had the foresight to not pour beer on the tower, but turn it off instead. No need to commit alcohol abuse and electrocute himself at the same time. That's not the kind of multitasking we like to engage in around here. No, rather, that requires a beer hat, Depends and a working remote control.

While I await the delivery of a new power supply, the source of the burning smell, I am writing this on Mr. Scoop's computer. He is using Linux. It behaves like Windows except for the sticking it to Bill Gates and the overlords at Microsoft because I'm not using the products they've monopolized part. However, none of this is why I haven't updated this blog in several weeks. That has mostly to do with being too lazy to walk up a flight of stairs between commercial breaks on the tv - which is generally when I would write back when I had the tiny one bedroom apartment and the computer was just in the other room.

Plus, I seem to have, at the tender age of 30 something, destroyed my knees by the very act of trying to actually get in shape. Most evenings now I hobble around the downstairs with knee braces made out of cold packs. They are quite handy - I can squeeze a can of beer between my knees to keep it cold as I do the wall sits my physical therapist has recommended to strengthen my inner leg muscles. This is eventually supposed to make my patella stop grinding against the rest of the knee joint. At this rate, I will have thighs of steel to go with my impending cirrhosis. Multitasking, people.

I used to walk as my primary means of physical activity. That changed when I moved to this new neighborhood. Walking down the street is often an invitation to a nice gentleman, who may or may not have a green card, to pull over in his car and make requests I suspect may not be legal. At least not this far north of Tijuana. Instead, I've been using a program called YourselfFitness which is a virtual physical trainer that runs on my X-box. For the bargain price of $30 (I bought it new about 2 years ago and never opened the box until this past July) she will string hundreds of exercises together that incorporate fitness equipment that I already own and not care that I'll string hundred of expletives together to hurl at her in a constant, unceasing stream as I perform the routine that she has digitally cobbled together.

In ten weeks of working out I've improved my flexibility, started to carve muscles out of my arms, legs and abs, and dropped five pounds...all at the relatively low price of $30 and my knees.

I'm not sure it's been worth it.


Anonymous said...

Now that you're upgrading your computer you can make sure that it will support Hellgate London (out 10/31). You know you want to wander Covent Garden with a pulse rifle. The crusting pipe is even there, though it's overrun with zombies. But hey, you've got a pulse rifle!


Ari said...

Carry on (unless it burns too much)!

Usul said...

While my knee's sound to be in much better shape than yours I sometimes experience discomfort when climbing stairs and standing for long periods can become painful.

At my brother recommendation I started taking glucosamine and my pain has noticeable decreased.
This could just be the placebo effect and it hasn't been FDA approved for said use, but as far as I know it shouldn't hurt to try taking it for a few weeks.

Maqui Berry said...

Dont worry about it. As long as you keep posting as often as you can I will be happy!