Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Where's My Death Ray?

When I was 10 and my sister was 6, I caught her in the act of using the microwave to nuke a tiny, brown ant.

I freaked out on her. I couldn't even begin to fathom why you would do something like that. Ants are supposed to be squished. What would drive someone to go all Bergen-Belsen on one? And why not just incinerate it with the proper application of sunlight through a magnifying glass like God intended?

Ever find an inch long carpenter ant trudging its way down your forehead at 5 o'clock in the morning after an evening of fun with Sauvignon Blanc and amyl Pop Rocks...Sauvignon Blanc?

It's safe to say I now understand the impetus that would drive someone to use 500 watts of microwave goodness to kill a creature that could just as easily be blown away by a strong breeze.